A few months ago my boss came into my office and said he’d like to buy dinner for my wife and me.

“Why?” I bluntly asked, suspicious.

“I’d just like to do something nice,” he said.

“Oh, thanks Zack, you don’t have to do that.”

“Well I’d like to. So let me know where you’d like to go and I’ll get you a gift certificate.”

I said we went to Applebees a lot since it was right across the street from home so that would work. I was surprised by his offer but he’s a good guy and just wanted to show his appreciation for my work. It was very thoughtful of him. But a week passed and no gift certificate appeared. Then a couple more weeks: nothing. Of course, I never brought it up. It was like the conversation had never happened. Then one day he came into my office and said:

“You know, I think I’d like to buy dinner for you and your wife.”

“Oh, thanks Zack, I appreciate that. But you really don’t have to,” I said.

“Well, I’d like to” he said again. He went away, a couple of more weeks passed and no gift certificate. This went on for months. Every now and then he’d make the offer as if it was the first time, I’d accept, and that would be as far as it got. It was like an Abbot and Costello routine and I played the straight man. One time he said Applebees wasn’t good enough, how about someplace nice? He mentioned Laughing Seed, the vegetarian restaurant, and I said great, that’d be nice, thank you. A few weeks later he said how about Rezaz - yes, that sounds very nice, thanks, but you really don’t have to. My wife said you’re never getting that gift certificate. Probably not, I thought, but the comedy routine was gift enough.

Finally, this week, he handed it over: a gift certificate for Rezaz. I met the wife there after work on Friday. It’s a great mediterranean place, very swank, with abstract art on the walls and attentive servers dressed in black. We started with the butternut squash ravioli and a plate of calamari, onion rings, and jalapeno poppers. Then, she had the tuna with rice, lightly seared (she’s mostly vegetarian but sometimes eats fish) and I had the lamb shank with potatoes. It was one of the best things I’ve ever eaten; can’t say enough good things about it - I wanted another plate as soon as it was gone. Slow cooked and tender, just fell off the bone and with sauce so thick and dark it looked like marrow. Excellent. Recommend.

But when Zack asks me about it on Monday, I think I’ll tell him I haven’t been yet. Just keep telling him that for a while, see how he does the straight man part.